Hi there!

Hi! Welcome to my corner of the internet. I'm a 26 year old therapist, feminist, photographer, and shop owner currently living in Seattle, Washington. My shop, Dealign with Feelings, is geared toward destigmatizing and normalizing mental health. I'm biased, but I think we have some pretty cute stuff :) Click the "shop" tab to see what we've got! I mainly post about my travel and daily life on here. With other random musings thrown in. I post more frequently (and about more feminism) on my Instagram @emmycoletti, so make sure you're following me there. Thanks for stopping by!

Sunday, July 31, 2016

BYE Felicia

I'm not super loving the Month In Review posts or the Weekly Nail, so I'm stopping both of them. My nail polish is lasting way longer than a week so I think I'll just throw some pics on here whenever I feel like it.

Bye Felicia blog post series I always start and always discontinue.

XOXO
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Thursday, July 28, 2016

I Repent Nothing

I posted this on my Instagram before I changed my theme again haha. So, now I feel like it's ok to post here even though some of you may have already seen it.

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I was thinking today about how sometimes there is someone who looks like you but isn't related to you. It made me think about how many people are in the world right now. Like there are so many people, but it's nothing compared to how many people have been in the world total, over all of time. Like somewhere in the midst of all those people, there has to be a twin for everyone. Like what are the odds of having like 107 billion people ever existing, and all of them looking different? Idk but I want to meet my twin and see how close she is to me.

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Ok also I am reading this book called Station Eleven and it's so good. It's a good story, but also it has these beautiful little nuggets of writing that I just feel connected to. I read a paragraph today on the train home that I felt like adaquately describes my feelings on moving out of my home state of Utah to New York City. It says, "That place was so small. Everyone knew me, not because I was special or anything, just because everyone knew everyone, and the claustrophobia of that, I can't tell you. I just wanted some privacy. For as long as I could remember I just wanted to get out, and then I got to Toronto and no one knew me. Toronto felt like freedom."

I just love that, ya know? It's so beautiful to me. I love the idea of living outside of Utah because I just feel free. I remember flying back into Utah one time and all I could think of was the phrase, "Like a dog in a cage." I feel like it's a constant struggle between me wanting to start my own traditions with J because we are married and adults vs other people wanting us to be a part of their traditions. It really stresses me out to have to say no to people and disappoint them, but it also stresses me out to feel like I can never execute my holiday ideas that I've been waitings years to do. I guess I had this idea that I would get married and have kids and host Christmas dinner and have Halloween parties, and I just feel like I can't be the hostess in Utah, ya know? We know so many people there who are always doing so many things. Like I am always a guest somewhere, I'm always on someone else's schedule, someone else's time. I think that's fine sometimes, like visiting for holidays, but for a long term lifestyle, I need to know that I can host my own holidays and not have to turn away so many invitations to events.

Idk, I guess I am just a really independent and private person. I know it may not seem that way after all I've just shared, but I do like my privacy. I like knowing that I can go to the grocery store here and not see anyone I know. I like knowing that no one will be knocking on my door. I like how little my coworkers care about what I'm doing. New Yorkers are the perfect personality for me because they literally don't care what anyone does. I finally feel like I am free to live my life and be who I am without guilt, judgment, or worries about people talking behind my back.

Anyway, I do miss our family and friends at times, but I am also loving this chapter of our lives where it is just us, completely on our own. We're relying 100% on each other and we have all of our days to ourselves. It just feels nice.

It feels like I've finally been let out of my cage and have discovered that I'm not a dog after all, I'm a wolf. And I'm just now discovering what that means.

XOXO
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Wednesday, July 27, 2016

There's Always Going To Be Another Larry

Pizza Park! Not as good as Juliana's, but pretty good for a quick bite. This was the vodka sauce, yummmm.
As much as I love scheduling blog posts, I miss the diary-type feel that came from writing blog posts the day of, so I'm going to try to get back to that. I think I'll just preschedule the photos, but then actually write the post every day.

When did blogging turn into a laundry list of things I've done instead of how I'm actually feeling? Lulz.

Life updates on here for me are tricky. There are a lot more people reading this now than when I started, and I always get a little scared I'll offend someone. #livinginfear. But whatever, if you want to know if something is about you just ask. 

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I have been at my job for a month now, and today was the first day I didn't do something wrong. So yay! I am loving it. It's a desk job and I love desk jobs. I have 2 apples for breakfast every morning. I tried out a "mono meal" which is basically where you eat like 6-7 fruit or veggies, but I couldn't do it. I think my limit is 3 apples lol. I have a Perfect Bar for lunch every day. I am obsessed with them because I feel like they are actually healthy.

Ever since moving to New York I feel like my eating habits have shifted and I'm not sure why. In Utah we lived with my mom, so we kind of just ate what was there. It's been interesting to see our pantry grow here. I feel like I've been eating way less sugar, because I just don't buy it. I used to have to have some chocolately every day, and now I can go like a day or two without chocolate. 

I guess no one really cares about other people's eating habits. And also it's a sensitive subject. Like I garauntee you right now you're thinking "This girl eats 2 apples for breakfast and a nutrition bar for lunch what a freak!!!" But that's just how I roll. 

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Like literally I got this shirt that is so cute but also SO tight on my boobs. I feel like I can't wear it outside the house, but I want to so badly. I wore it without a bra and it was so tight it like held my boobs up lulz. It has a hamburger on it. I'll probably post about it on Instagram soon so stay tuned.

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Speaking of Instagram, I've been having a bit of an identity crisis. I know Instagram themes are dumb and if you do them you care too much about social media, but for me my Instagram theme is my only "art project". I think it's such a challenge to take photos that all blend well together, and I love it. I started getting bored with the white, bright theme so I switched to something more film-y. But then I realized I just don't feel like I am ever satisfied with my film editing. At least with my clean editing I can walk away being like, "Oh that looks great." But with film I just always feel like it isn't good enough.

So what I decided to do was just go back to the white, clean, bright, colorful theme because that's my style anyway. I just want to post more pictures of myself, which sounds narcissistic but whatever. Like sure people care about a flat lay but how much? Like I feel like the greatest thing about social media is being able to feel connected to real people. I enjoy photos of actual people way more than their breakfast, so I want to try to be like that on my own.

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Was this enough personal talk for you? Lol. I'm a little rusty on just sitting down at this keyboard and writing whatever comes to mind, but it's a good practice to get into and I want to get that skill back. I'm planning on writing a book one day. An autobiography like Mindy Khaling, Tina Fey, etc. It's mainly for myself, because I remember these things that happened a long time ago and then forget for a few years, and then remember, and then forget, etc. I guess I just like the idea of having something concrete with all my memories in it, in case I one day can only remember my childhood memories by reading about them. So over the past few years I've kept a notebook and written down the little memories as they come back to me. I don't know when I'll be ready to put it in a book, but hopefully one day.

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Anyway, I'm off to get swole (apply fake tan and ab workouts LOLZ) so I'll let you babies rest your eyes.

XOXO
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