Hi there!

Hi! Welcome to my corner of the internet. I'm a 26 year old therapist, feminist, photographer, and shop owner currently living in Seattle, Washington. My shop, Dealign with Feelings, is geared toward destigmatizing and normalizing mental health. I'm biased, but I think we have some pretty cute stuff :) Click the "shop" tab to see what we've got! I mainly post about my travel and daily life on here. With other random musings thrown in. I post more frequently (and about more feminism) on my Instagram @emmycoletti, so make sure you're following me there. Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, March 16, 2020

And... *Almost* Everything Shuts Down


I took these photos yesterday, on March 14th, 2020. 

Just 2 weeks ago I was hearing about people at Life Care center in Kirkland, 20 minutes from my home in Seattle, testing positive for COVID-19. I was on my way to dinner at my uncle's house, where I had a panic attack that things were going to escalate and throw us into social chaos. I spent the drive home cradling a Tupperware of lasagna and convincing myself things were going to be fine. 

I went to work the next day and talked with my boss about the spreading virus and whether or not we needed to do virtual sessions. She ensured me it wasn't something we needed to worry about yet. I checked my therapist Facebook groups, where other therapists preached us needing to be "there" an d "consistent" with our clients during this time. I went to therapy where my therapist suggested I challenge my "safety strategies" of wiping and sanitizing everything in between each client. 

Two weeks ago, Seattle was aware but not concerned. Everyone living their lives as close to "normal" as possible.

Now, two weeks later:

All restaurants in Seattle have closed.
All schools have closed.
All churches have been cancelled.
All universities are online.
All gatherings 50 people and over have been prohibited. 

In just two weeks.

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We were going to walk around Green Lake yesterday, before the restaurants were mandated to close. We were thinking that it would be near empty, but it was a sunny day in Seattle and everything was packed.

There were people eating at the lakeside restaurants, laughing and enjoying cups of coffee on the patio. Like we aren't about to overwhelm our healthcare system with more sick people than they can treat, leaving people to die for no good reason other than there aren't enough ventilators. 

Hours later all restaurants were mandated to close., 

Later that night,, I posted on my Instagram stories about how right now what's best for the pubic health (staying home) is in direct conflict with what we want for our mental health (going out with friends, going in to therapy, etc.). I've received countless DMs of people complaining about the ways staying in will effect them negatively. And yeah, it sucks. I get it. 

The way I see it is: 

Us sacrificing our paychecks, our parties, our trips, 
us taking on a little bit more anxiety, a little bit more depression, a little bit more loneliness, 
is worthwhile suffering if it's going to save the lives of others. 

America's ability to be selfless is being put to the test right now. And so many of us are failing. Trying to squeeze in one last dinner, one last movie. Saying it's "too hard" for us to not see our therapists in person, to go to our yoga classes, to take the financial cut of no work for a few weeks (no, you won't get evicted). We don't get an immediate reward from staying home. We don't get an applause or the immediate gratification of knowing what we did made an immediate difference. 

And it is hard. I want to validate that. No one is arguing that any part of this is easy. 

But isn't an overwhelmed medical center with people dying harder? Isn't your grandparents needing medical treatment, but not getting it because there isn't enough room at the hospital harder? That's the reality that we face if we continue to go out amidst the CDC's recommendations of social distancing. 

The actions we take now will directly impact the outcome of this virus in 2 weeks. There is no rewind button to erase our actions if this thing blows up in our faces. Just funerals and bodies and regrets for not acting quick enough, for not being cautious enough. 

So, I guess that's where I leave this. Continually begging Americans to stay the fuck home. If there's ever a time for me to use the "f word" on my blog, here it is! The official first "f word". 

Your paycheck can wait. Your party can wait. Your life, as you know it, can wait. Is your to-do list, your wants, your priorities really more important than someone's life? I mean, is honestly anything more important than someone's life??

Pretend like you are having to choose between your bank account or your grandparent's life; because you are.

The only thing harder than having to lose a paycheck or two is burying your loved ones for a virus you could have helped prevent, but chose not to. 

And I do hope this stings because America needs the wake up call. We need people scared, because fear takes actions that calm doesn't. And we need the anxiety right now.

XOXO,
E

P.S. This is harsh, but we are literally in a pandemic.

P.P.S. Don't hoard food or supplies.

P.P.P.S. Ok you can still go outside to hike or walk (to my understanding), just maintain 6 feet from  other people.

Saturday, March 14, 2020

BRB Social Distancing


Gonna attempt to start daily blogging again. We are currently in the midst of the "COVID19" outbreak and I have much anxiety haha. So, I'm attempt to do allllll the things to make myself feel better.

For future people reading this after it has blown over: Long story short there is this virus going around called COVID-19 and it's officially been declared a "pandemic" by the World Health Organization. It originated in China, where it killed a bunch of people and shut down the entire city of Wuhan. After which it spread to Iran and Italy, where it then infected so many people that Italy's healthcare system got overwhelmed and they are having to triage and turn people away.

It has now come to the United States, and guess where it hit first?? If you guess Seattle, my current home town, you would be correct!

As someone with health anxiety this has been a nightmare, but I am holding on. Health anxiety is basically being worried all the time there is something wrong with you, health wise. So you look things up a lot and get really panicky about being sick and Google things like "stomach pain behind belly button" and then become convinced you have a parasite so you call your mom who is a nurse who then has to talk you down that you are fine.

My anxiety has been bad lately. I have gotten two random panic attacks which is new. Then I started going to anxiety to address my health anxiety and then COVID-19 happened so lmao jokes on me!

Anyway. As a 20-something year old, my chances of dying are higher than with the flu, but still pretty slim overall. Most people who are dying from it are elderly and/or with underlying health conditions. But, anyway, so yeah it's so many people that the healthcare system is panicking about not having enough ventilators/supplies for people, thus the shutting down of everything.
is next week will
It's really eerie and strange to see empty shelves and parking lots. Everyone is being a douch bag and buying out all the toilet paper and hoarding food. Although we were able to find milk today. It's mostly like pasta and beans etc etc that are sold out.

I am still going in to work (lol) which is a weird thing on its own. I am between a rock and a hard place. Am I hurting others by continuing to meet with clients in person? Am I contributing to the spread? But then if I only do Telehealth, am I failing to maintain my ethical duty to my clients and help them through this hard and traumatic time??

As far as what other therapists are doing, it's pretty mixed. Some are only doing Telehealth, and others are giving it as an option, but otherwise continuing to see clients and sanitizing more. The schools are shut down until April 24th though. My boss has encouraged us to continue sessions as normal, which I see the value in, but then again it's easier to prevent a disease than treat it. And even though I am just one person, maybe me seeing 20 people could spread it?? Idk ugh it's stressful.

I am definitely sanitizing in-between each client so I'm guessing the risk is minimal, but the more I type, the more I feel like I want to encourage my clients to do online because it just seems like the right thing to do in this situation. Maybe I will ask my mom, ha.

Oh, but the Sound transit system has seen a 45% decrease in people who ride! Wild huh? And schools have been cancelled in New Mexico and Utah, even though they don't have that many diagnosed cases yet, which is good.

The other thing is they aren't testing that many people, so the chances that people are just walking around in the community with it are pretty high. But, symptoms are mild for most people so people aren't thinking too much about it. But, I think the anxiety about it is good because it is motivating people to do everything they can to prevent the spread, which is good.

Anyway, like I said, I am trying to decrease my anxiety so I went on a run with Jake and Tucker today on the trail by our house, made some dinner, and am now blogging. The trail was nothing special and there were like 4 urban survivalist (the nicer term for "homeless people") camps surrounded by much trash lol, but I still think I want to stay in this neighborhood for another year. I will probably just start stopping off at Green Lake for a run or get a treadmill.

XOXO
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E

P.S. I also bought a puzzle to help with anxiety things and turns out it's too big for my coffee and dining table lolololololol

Saturday, March 7, 2020

03.07.20


Saturday, February 15, 2020

Edmonds, WA











We went up to Edmonds and I'm in love. It's the cutest little beach town just 20 minutes north from where we live in Seattle. My therapist has an office in downtown Edmonds and I can't do it justice with a description. The ceilings are like 20 feet tall, the windows are arched, and it looks out on the town and beach and is just SO CUTE.

We had brunch at The Pelican Cafe (would recommend) and then headed over the *very cold* beach to walk around for a bit. There was a guy literally surfing/wake boarding/something and we were like ??? It's freezing??? Dedication lol.

I actually really like the little towns and areas north of Seattle. Tucker has a babysitter in Mukilteo and it's equally charming. I'm excited to explore these little towns more this summer!

XOXO
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E