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Hi! Welcome to my corner of the internet. I'm a 26 year old therapist, feminist, photographer, and shop owner currently living in Seattle, Washington. My shop, Dealign with Feelings, is geared toward destigmatizing and normalizing mental health. I'm biased, but I think we have some pretty cute stuff :) Click the "shop" tab to see what we've got! I mainly post about my travel and daily life on here. With other random musings thrown in. I post more frequently (and about more feminism) on my Instagram @emmycoletti, so make sure you're following me there. Thanks for stopping by!

And... *Almost* Everything Shuts Down

Monday, March 16, 2020


I took these photos yesterday, on March 14th, 2020. 

Just 2 weeks ago I was hearing about people at Life Care center in Kirkland, 20 minutes from my home in Seattle, testing positive for COVID-19. I was on my way to dinner at my uncle's house, where I had a panic attack that things were going to escalate and throw us into social chaos. I spent the drive home cradling a Tupperware of lasagna and convincing myself things were going to be fine. 

I went to work the next day and talked with my boss about the spreading virus and whether or not we needed to do virtual sessions. She ensured me it wasn't something we needed to worry about yet. I checked my therapist Facebook groups, where other therapists preached us needing to be "there" an d "consistent" with our clients during this time. I went to therapy where my therapist suggested I challenge my "safety strategies" of wiping and sanitizing everything in between each client. 

Two weeks ago, Seattle was aware but not concerned. Everyone living their lives as close to "normal" as possible.

Now, two weeks later:

All restaurants in Seattle have closed.
All schools have closed.
All churches have been cancelled.
All universities are online.
All gatherings 50 people and over have been prohibited. 

In just two weeks.

-

We were going to walk around Green Lake yesterday, before the restaurants were mandated to close. We were thinking that it would be near empty, but it was a sunny day in Seattle and everything was packed.

There were people eating at the lakeside restaurants, laughing and enjoying cups of coffee on the patio. Like we aren't about to overwhelm our healthcare system with more sick people than they can treat, leaving people to die for no good reason other than there aren't enough ventilators. 

Hours later all restaurants were mandated to close., 

Later that night,, I posted on my Instagram stories about how right now what's best for the pubic health (staying home) is in direct conflict with what we want for our mental health (going out with friends, going in to therapy, etc.). I've received countless DMs of people complaining about the ways staying in will effect them negatively. And yeah, it sucks. I get it. 

The way I see it is: 

Us sacrificing our paychecks, our parties, our trips, 
us taking on a little bit more anxiety, a little bit more depression, a little bit more loneliness, 
is worthwhile suffering if it's going to save the lives of others. 

America's ability to be selfless is being put to the test right now. And so many of us are failing. Trying to squeeze in one last dinner, one last movie. Saying it's "too hard" for us to not see our therapists in person, to go to our yoga classes, to take the financial cut of no work for a few weeks (no, you won't get evicted). We don't get an immediate reward from staying home. We don't get an applause or the immediate gratification of knowing what we did made an immediate difference. 

And it is hard. I want to validate that. No one is arguing that any part of this is easy. 

But isn't an overwhelmed medical center with people dying harder? Isn't your grandparents needing medical treatment, but not getting it because there isn't enough room at the hospital harder? That's the reality that we face if we continue to go out amidst the CDC's recommendations of social distancing. 

The actions we take now will directly impact the outcome of this virus in 2 weeks. There is no rewind button to erase our actions if this thing blows up in our faces. Just funerals and bodies and regrets for not acting quick enough, for not being cautious enough. 

So, I guess that's where I leave this. Continually begging Americans to stay the fuck home. If there's ever a time for me to use the "f word" on my blog, here it is! The official first "f word". 

Your paycheck can wait. Your party can wait. Your life, as you know it, can wait. Is your to-do list, your wants, your priorities really more important than someone's life? I mean, is honestly anything more important than someone's life??

Pretend like you are having to choose between your bank account or your grandparent's life; because you are.

The only thing harder than having to lose a paycheck or two is burying your loved ones for a virus you could have helped prevent, but chose not to. 

And I do hope this stings because America needs the wake up call. We need people scared, because fear takes actions that calm doesn't. And we need the anxiety right now.

XOXO,
E

P.S. This is harsh, but we are literally in a pandemic.

P.P.S. Don't hoard food or supplies.

P.P.P.S. Ok you can still go outside to hike or walk (to my understanding), just maintain 6 feet from  other people.

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