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Hi! Welcome to my corner of the internet. I'm a 26 year old therapist, feminist, photographer, and shop owner currently living in Seattle, Washington. My shop, Dealign with Feelings, is geared toward destigmatizing and normalizing mental health. I'm biased, but I think we have some pretty cute stuff :) Click the "shop" tab to see what we've got! I mainly post about my travel and daily life on here. With other random musings thrown in. I post more frequently (and about more feminism) on my Instagram @emmycoletti, so make sure you're following me there. Thanks for stopping by!

23 Things To Do Instead Of Making Lists About Your Superior Life Decision

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

1.) I'm actually not going to make a list.

First off, I am married and 20 years old. I got married when I was 19 years old. I'm sorry if you feel bad for me and all of the traveling or insert other experience here I am missing out on. But, guess what? I love being married! I'm not going to get into it on here, but I'm happy with the decision I made. And guess what else? Those people who aren't married are probably happy with the decision they have made too. 

Nobody "should" do anything. If you're single and traveling the world, that's awesome. It really is. I would love to spend the rest of my life traveling the world too, and the fact that you're doing it is really cool. I love reading about your adventures and getting ideas of places to visit once I'm done giving all my money to college. Also, if you're married and you're young, that's awesome. I feel ya, sista. Married life is really great for me and I'm so happy I was lucky enough to find my husband at such a young age. 

HOWEVER. In my very personal opinion, it is never ok to make somebody else feel bad about the choices they are making. I try my best to be supportive of those I come into contact with and I think these blog posts that have been blowing up my Facebook feed have a very similar, good, underlying intention. However, I believe the way they are going about it has resulted in lots of people feeling upset about their own lives. Posting about why your lifestyle choice is somehow better than someone else's is no way to make friends. 

Instead of listing reasons why our lifestyle choice is superior, can we please just be supportive and nice? When I see someone share a blog post about how being married is a mistake because of divorce rates, lost opportunities, and financial problems, do you know what that makes me think? It makes me think that the friend of mine who posted that was probably silently judging me while eating the delicious crepes and macarons at my wedding reception. When someone who is single sees a post about why you should hurry and get married ASAP BECAUSE OMG IT'S SO GREAT, do you know what they think? Because I don't, like I said, I'm married, haha. But, I can imagine there is a similar response. If you are single and have feelings to share, I'm more than happy to hear what it's like to be bombarded by that sort of post. But, can't you see? Whichever side you're on, sharing these lists on Facebook is making other people feel sad or defensive about their lifestyle choice. 

So, PLEASE can we just let life happen and be supportive and happy for each other? If you happen to travel and do crazy things that's great. If you happen to get married that's great. Whatever life leads you to will be great. Not getting married or getting married, it doesn't matter. You are a great human being and you are unique. Your goals, dreams, and wants might be different from someone else's, but that doesn't mean they are any less valid. Your life is going to be full of rich, happy, life changing experiences. So, let's please stop making lists about why we are happier than people who make opposite lifestyle choices. I'm willing to bet that we are all just as happy as the other person who is living an opposite lifestyle. And, more so than the search for happiness, I believe that we all want to be accepted and supported by those around us. So, let's start supporting each other and stop with these stupid lists!

Lastly, I think it's important to note that marriage isn't the end of your young life. You can still do all the crazy things on those lists of things to do instead of getting engaged when you're married :). It's not as bad as people make it out to be haha. I'm not trying to convince you to get married! Definitely wait until you're ready and until you meet the right person, if you even do want to get married. But, don't be scared of it either. Marriage is a big commitment, and it is a big lifestyle change, but it's a good one that brings a lot of happiness. 

If you don't want it, you'll be fine. 
If you do, you'll be fine.

XOXO
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E

P.S. If anything I said offended you, please remember I am a 20 year old psychology major who is not in any way certified in the "life decisions" category. This is all just opinion. Take it with a grain of salt. If you think I am a complete idiot, remember that I probably think the same about you. Haha just kidding. But, if you disagree, remember I am just one person out of 7,046,000,000. My opinion counts for nothing. We can still be friends and eat lunch on the steps of the met.

Comments

  1. What are these lists you speak of?? What the heck? Is it like, a Utah thing? That sounds messed up, haha. How many of these lists have you seen?
    Yes, I also hate when people get all upset about young people getting married. Most people don't understand that you can still do young things and be married at the same time.

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  2. people are really posting such things? ridiculous! everyone should be entitled to have their own experiences, do the things they want to do without other people judging. i understand that everyone is also entitled to their own opinion, and base that on their own experiences, but i can see it being frustrated when people are saying things about something they have no idea about! try not to take notice of them, and enjoy your wonderful married life!
    xo, cheyenne

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