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That awkward moment when no one comments on your post.

Monday, September 26, 2011
So, I'm entering a photo&essay contest for a scholarship. Which of the following photos would you suggest I use?

1


2


3


4

This is way beyond my remote concern of being condescending.

Saturday, September 24, 2011


I don't know.




I only feel comfortable walking around in a bath towel when it's white, black, or deep red. I feel like anything else is tacky.

I think I'm just going to keep typing and see what I end up writing. One of my English teachers once said that's what great writers do, because then nothing is forced and pretentious. 
And I hate things that are forced and pretentious.


I think I'm going to vandalize something tonight. 
It just sounds like it would really float my boat.


I need to call my grandma, because I have a new plan. I can get a driver's license for the state of Washington, and say that I am living with my grandma. That way, I will have residency and can attend the University of Washington without having to pay out of state tuition. I won't actually live with her though, I will move back home. 
Sketchy? Perhaps. 


I just really want to move out of here! I don't usually use exclamation points, so that should mean something to you. Not that I don't love my family and my friends, but I just need a change. I need to be in a place that actually has some sort of precipitation.

Bon Iver makes me feel like I should be in my twenties. And I mean that in the best way possible.

I got lost on my way home from Salt Lake City. I hate Lone Peak. HATE. Ask me why. (Emily, why do you hate Lone Peak?) Well, let me tell you. My mother went into the grocery store across from Lone Peak a couple months ago. It was during their lunch. She was literally in there for not even ten minutes, and when she came back out her GPS had been stolen. That's why I hate them. I mean, ok. Maybe she should have locked her doors, but honestly. Go ask your dad for money to buy drugs, don't break into people's personal property. It's just inconsiderate. 




Well, I feel like that's everything I have to say.

Maybe one of these times I will crank out something that is actually worth reading. Until then, eat some jalapeno Cheetos; they're delicious. 

Also, pierce your nose, because my mother won't let me.

Love,
Emily

P.S. Isn't my new owl ring lovely? I just adore it.
Monday, September 19, 2011












Sometimes, they don't call. 

So, you eat an ice cream bar for the second time in four years and decide they are better than you give them credit for.

So, you text that boy who accidentally spit in your face while you were dancing and then turned all red.

So, you think about how all you want to do is have lunch with Tony Shafrazi and talk about Riding With Death.

So, you spin your chair repeatedly, because that little thought of not being able to move one day scares you so much you feel the need to get as much movement in as possible.

So, you start to hate girls, because they always ditch you for the boy they are crushing on at the moment, but then drag you around like a puppy once their dumped.

So, you think about the word "in" and how it means a big lifetime change will be happening, but still doubt that the change will actually take place.

And then they do call, right when you're typing all of this. And it makes you feel like maybe there is hope to humanity after all. Maybe, The Devil doesn't really have as much control as he thinks he does. 


Then, you close your eyes and think back to the dream you had last night. The one where your friend was kneeling on the ground and your mother was talking about cooked chicken. The one where Alena made you stick your hand in a barrel of guts, so you could paint your stomach with blood and blend in with the rest of the crowd. The one where you were in a Wal-Mart that really wasn't a Wal-Mart. The one that seemed like it didn't make sense and was completely random, but at the same time had some sort of underlying message that plagued your thoughts all day.

And after all that, you realize that every Cameron you have ever met has been the most enjoyable person, and that's amazing because there are a lot of not so enjoyable people in the world.



Thankfully, none of them are named Cameron.

I don't cry tears like people.

Thursday, September 15, 2011
I have many things to say.
None of which I feel comfortable saying.

I feel like I used to be able to say anything on here, but now people I actually know in real life read this. No that it's a bad thing, I simply can't be as undisclosed as I used to be.

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Well, some things I simply don't care about you knowing.
Like the fact that I had to meet with my dad.
My visa got denied, because I didn't have his signature. I had to meet with him to get him to sign it. Of course he wouldn't just sign it; that would be too nice. McDonalds proved as the meeting place (because I already hate it there). He was nice and everything. He signed the paper and asked me a bunch of questions about life and stuff. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. Afterwards, I thought that maybe I was making a bad decision by not talking to him. It really bothered me, so I went on a run and called up my trusty friend. He had some wise words and I decided I was not a crazy teenager.
I went home to find all these crazy text messages from him to my mother.
It just goes to show. People don't change.


On to other news, I bought my film and now I just need to use my last six pictures on my color roll, so I can switch it out. I don't really want to pay all that money to get my color film developed. Also, I took a picture that could be very risque if my lens was not zoomed up close enough. Hopefully, that is not the case.

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Go to YouTube and search "tonsil stone removal". Your life will never be the same.

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Well folks, I am watching Sybil. It's scary. My greatest fear is of having an undiagnosed mental illness.

My second greatest fear is that my mother will die in a terrible, sudden accident and be buried at the Sanford cemetery and then I'll be sent to live with my father and he will be living with that woman from Hoarders with all the chickens and animals and I will have to wake up early every day to drive to school and get home late and I will have to pay for my own gas and by the time I do graduate and have the opportunity to get out of there I won't have any money for college and I will be forced to be a stripper where I will be raped and get pregnant and then be forced to get an abortion.
Then, I will kill myself, because life doesn't get any worse than that.

Did you know that people with Dissociative Identity Disorder can have a personality that can speak Spanish (or other language) fluently and have another personality that doesn't even know what "si" means.



You learn something new everyday.
Jake Gyllenhaal is hot.
I love Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
FJ Cruisers will rule the world.



Sincerely,
Emily

Don't let things that are out of your control determine your happiness.

Monday, September 12, 2011



Awkward photos - over.
Ok, do you ever have those days where everything just seems mediocre? But not in the bad way, in the good way. Like, everything just happened exactly as it should and nothing out of the ordinary made everything else go out of control? Well, that's how today was. Everything was just mediocre, but it felt right.

I don't know. I'm not a very... (Ok, I can never think of this word. It's not literate, it's not lingual, it's not expressive, and it's not blunt. It's that word that means you can express your thoughts very well using words.) person.

Also, just barely on that highlighted part, is that correct grammar? Or am I supposed to have done something different with the periods?


 The cute old man who lives behind me was outside when I was outside today. He heard me and offered me some tomatoes over the fence. I asked for two and he gave me four.
They always know best.


I also went to this India festival with a friend on Saturday night. We got henna tattoos, which is awesome because now I can cross that off my list.

Ok, I will make a confession.
I fell SO awkward writing about my everyday life on here. I think it's because I don't know who's reading it, you know? I used to not mind writing stuff on here, because no one I knew in person even knew I had a blog. Now, people know and I'm not sure if they read it or not, so I'm now sure if I can rip on that one girl or if she's reading it.

What do you folks think? I think I'll continue to be vague.


Just because I am never very good at expressing myself anyways.

How do you like your Jello?

Saturday, September 10, 2011
I walked to school on Thursday and it was highly enjoyable. To all of you who walk to school everyday, I am jealous. My classes simply don't agree with me at the moment. They all insist on having their own binders and books that must be brough EVERY DAY. That's cool. I just cave into this sick little hole technology is weaving. Vomit on my life.


Anyhow. Here is the walk from start to finish. Well, not really, but you get the jist. Is that how you spell that word? I'm now realizing that I don't think I've ever seen it spelled out. Maybe, it's just one of those words that people say that aren't really real. You know? But "ain't" isn't a word and it has a correct spelling.
Who comes up with this stuff. I'm inventing my own language. It's called "How do you like your Jello". That's all it is too; it's just that phrase. It's very versatile once you get it down right.

Ok. Well, I'm off to go lazer tagging and then to INDIA-FEST. Bless those Krishnas and their ability to throw a party.

Until the morrow.
Sincerely,
Emily













My eyes itches. Also, the hum of this refridgerator is an onomatopoeia.

Thursday, September 8, 2011
Wow. I am so freaking far behind on blog stalking all of you it's ridiculous. (p.s. if you have a blog and I don't know about it, please give me your link)

So, I think I am just going to spend tomorrow stalking it up. IT'S GETTING STALKIN' HURRR!

Ok. Well, quick shout out to my dearest Barcelona/Japan/English friend, Zooey.

Dear Zooey, why did you delete your blog? I love you. More than you know...

Aren't you glad that happened?




Well folks, It's Thursday, and my New Music Monday was a while ago, so I will simply leave you with the most delicious play list ever. Known to man. Or woman. I'm not a sexist. Or an ageist, which I discovered was a word, because I went to a play with my mother and she was talking about how she liked the narrator to be younger. Ageism. It's gets the best of us.


  1. Last Resort - Papa Roach
  2. Breakfast In Bed - Dntel
  3. Nothing Came Out - The Moldy Peaches (I finally learned how to play this on the guitar. Bless Adam's soul.)
  4. Lucky Number Nine - The Moldy Peaches
  5. Comptine d'un Autre été - Amélie Soundtrack (The best movie you will ever watch. Right Zooey?)
  6. Lullaby - The Cure
  7. Caravane - Raphael
  8. Click, Click, Click, Click - Bishop Allen
  9. Stay (cover) - Katie Brandeburg (only on youtube)
  10. New Slang - The Shins
  11. No - The Summer Salts
  12. Bruises - Chairlift (This will be stuck in your head all day.)
  13. Basic Space - The Xx (SWOON)
  14. F You (clean) - Lily Allen
  15. Just Impolite - Plushgun
  16. The Quiz - Hello Saferide (I also adore this one.)


Actually, maybe I will just make a YouTube play list?? Yes. Hold on a moment.
Have a listen while you blog stalk.
It's quite enjoyable.



Well, I'm off to bed. Oh, I asked the film teacher about using his lab and he said I could as long as I came Tuesday-Thursday, and only after school, and only on A days. It's a lot of specifications, but hey, it's free. I only have to pay $1.60 for a roll of black and white film. That fact alone rocks my face off, because I have no FREAKING idea where they sell black and white film.

Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

Well, I'm off to hopefully dream about teleporting places.
Goodnight world. Or good morning... Whatever.


Sincerely, Emily

Invisible Children.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Alright. So, this photo is not mine. I found it on the Museum of Modern Art application on my phone. I am in love with it and would very much appreciate knowing who the photographer is; if you happen to know. I feel like he/she is going to change my life. It's going to be a Tony Shafrazi type discovery folks, and I can not wait. Riding With Death is probably my favorite piece of artwork at the moment. If you haven't seen it, then stop reading right this moment and google it.


Anyways, on to lesser things. The reason why I have been ignoring all blogs and everything blogging related is because I am in love. I didn't really expect for it to happen, well, actually, let me rephrase that. I NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS thought it would happen, but it has. And it's a beautiful thing. Lately, all my time has been consumed by it. I'm talking hours a day. I'm guessing you probably want to know his name...
He doesn't have one. He has multiple, because he is my calculus book.
I am in love with calculus.

Maybe that means there is something wrong with me.

Some people say you have to be smart to get an A, but that's not true. You just have to make an effort, same as anything else. I'm glad it took me about 12 years of school to finally realize that. Boo.

College will be grand. You will hold my hand. There will not be sand. I will have a band.

That's all folks. This has been highly enjoyable. Who knows, maybe today will be the day I finally ask the film teacher if I can use his dark room.

I'm just so scared.






Sincerely,
Emily
Friday, September 2, 2011
I'm not going to college.